“I’ve always been a very boyish boy. I love women and I think I understand them - it’s all about human emotions and I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. But I definitely think I’m more masculine than feminine. I just happen to like wearing make-up.”—Zacky Vengeance (via discomfortismymiddlename)
“The most important thing you can ever do is follow your dreams. If music is something you really like and something you really want to do, and if you only ever play it by yourself in the privacy of your own room, then that’s fine. You don’t have to be the best at what you do because there are bands that have changed the history of the world without being the greatest musicians. It’s really about doing something you like. It’s creating something that you control. You got to go out and do what you love and work hard, and after enough time, you’ll get to where you want to be.”— Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan. (via detailsblurry)
Random Venting. Read if you wish. I just don't know :(
Warning: This all over the place, I don’t think I stick to one topic. I don’t think I know what I’m taking about. I just need somewhere to went my wacked out feelings. Please don’t judge. I have not edited this. This is pure raw feeling.
I think it’s time to put tumblr into good use. I need to talk, and I really want to talk to some one I don’t know.
Lets start off, I am 14 years old, and I have been playing guitar for almost a year and a half. Why did I want to start playing? Because two years ago I discovered Avenged Sevenfold. Before that time, I was the average girl. Who wanted to be popular, my best friend was popular so I was sort of in the semi-circle of popular. I was sort of accepted right after I was in a car accident, but that is another story to tell. But that was towards the end of the school year of my 6th grade year. It was pretty damn nice because the guy I’ve had a crush on since my first day of 2nd grade when I moved to that school was talking to me and being nice to me. That story also goes on for another post.
But anyway the following year, I was set up by that same guy and 2 people I thought were friends. By then I simply just didn’t care anymore. I want to be “popular” because it just brought to much drama into my life. I also discovered reading the same time. To make up for my lack of social life, and best friend. I had friends of course, but I didn’t have any close friends. I had lost my best friend to someone else, and I was very lonlu. One of the reasons why I resorted to reading.
I once up a time found a small cite called quizilla, not to long after I found mibba. I then quicky discovered my first Avenged Sevenfold fan-fiction. The story was called “Arranged Marriage with Zacky Vengeance” or something along those lines. I read it, a bit hesitant at first I had never heard of this “Zacky Vengenace” character, but I gave the story a try. I fell in love with it, after I finished reading it. The characters were so intoxicating. There was no way someone could come up with these personalitites. I googled him, and came up with the band Aavenged Sevenfold. I then proceeded to buy my first A7X song off of itunes. It was Bat Country. I fell in love. I then bought Trashed and Scattered. I was so excited because I found music. That pleased me and I knew this other kid who listened to it. I then went up to him excited one day and told him the band i had discovered. Of course he knew who I was talking about, and he told me some songs i should check out. I then discovered Unholy Confessions. And the rest is history.
I eventually found the songs off there Self Titled Album which quickly became one of my favorite albums. I favored “Afterlife” and “Gunslinger” the most. The guitar solos amazed me, and I wanted to learn them so badly. By May of 2009 I had decided I wanted to plau guitar so I could learn all these magnificant solos. Of course I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be then. I then dragged my dad to the nearest music store, and we talked guitars and lessons with the owner. I was a bit upset when I alked out,because I wouldnt be gettin the guitar yet. But for my birthday which was 2 months away I would getting it. I was so excited.
My birthday came and went, I had gotten my guitar. I didn’t sign up for lessons yet though. I had no one to take me at the time. So I took my dad’s debit card, and signed up for online classes without his permission XD. I practiced everyday, learning basics. (string names, parts of guitar, ect) Finally I went to start lessons.I was so excited,I was a step ahead of new guitar players considering I knew a lot more than he thought I did. I played for a year. I was proud of myself, but yet dissapointed I wasn’t at the level I thought I would be at this stage of my commencement of learning guitar. One day as I was on youtube I found this amazing girl who played guitar just as good as Synyster Gates (my idol, and influences). She was amazing. It made me wonder how long it took her to play that well. Although at the time she said she was playing for 6 years, so she was 19 or 20 at the time so she wouldve started playin at age 13 or 14. Which was my age when I started playing guitr. I messeged her, and other people i found amazing on youtube. Asking them there ages they started playing, and around the time they started getting good, tips and ect…
I looked up to the girl she was what I wanted to be,(as in skill level). I wanted to eventually be the female Black Version of Synyster Gates. But with her skills, I’d only be the Black Version. She was AMAZING, still is.
Almost half a year has passed. I started practicing my guitar. I hadn’t played in a couple weeks. Due to my sports, and school activities taking a toll of my life. But I shouldn’t be saying anything because I have enough time to fit in going on my computer for hours at a time…What’s wrong with me? I picked up my guitar earlier this week determined to learn a song. And I did, but the way I couldn’t play it like the original. That upset me greatly. I went online trying to find some things to help me, they sort of worked but didn’t. I had an inner battle. I went to chick (really great guitar players) fan facebook page. She hadso many nice things said about her I couldn’t help but be jealous. I’ve alwayas had the dream of touring with A7X, one day. Being on a magazine cover for being an amazing soloist/guitarist, especially since I’m female. But she would take that away from me (unknowingly) of couse. She didn’t know me, she was nice to everyone. I felt really really jealous. She had everything I pretty much wanted. She’s met a7x and a variety of othr bands. She’s hangs out with the Rev Theory everytime they come close. Go on there tour bus and hang out. Plays guitar for them.
I felt…jealous, and upset.
My mind was in a frenzy. I didn’t know why I felt this way. I’m a good person, but at that moment I felt like a nasty person with a grose personality. Theres more to this story that I will tell in full another day. But for now. Before I decided to type of this random bunch of mess, of feelings i just created. I relized and will try to remember this everytime I feel like i’m a dissapointment.
"i need to start realizing, that trying to impress everyone, and please everyone isnt making me hppy. its drving me crzy. and turning me into a person i never want to be. things will come to me when they do, and if i work hard i will definetely succeed. all my goals will be reached "
And indeed they wil. I will be what I want to be, it just takes patience, and perservierance.